Depending on the day and the thoughts surrounding me at the time, it scares me.
The funny thing is, death doesn't scare me. I mean, the process of dying makes my skin crawl, but the actual passing-over-to-the-other-side does not phase me in the least. It used to, but God's hand removed that fear....which is a whole 'nother post.
Okay, back to Eternity.
Here's what I know:
There will be no more tears.
No more sadness.
All the loved ones that I miss so terribly will greet me with open arms.
The streets will be paved in gold with diamonds and rubies and all those other gems adorning their edges (or something along those lines).
I will not want to leave this new world where there is no more illness, no more death, and no more anger.
My room will be in a great mansion with more comforts and riches than I'll ever know this side of Heaven.
I will no longer hunger nor thirst, and the sun will continuously shine upon me.
Best of all....I will meet Jesus face-to-face!
How in the world could I possibly be scared of such an awesome place? Here's my train of thought when the uneasiness hits:
Eternity is a loooooong time. What if I get bored?
Seriously. That's the aspect that I can't get my mind around, and thus, it scares me.
Of course, the alternative scares me waaaaaay more than Eternity, so I'll take the risk of being bored over dying a second death!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Husband Love
There were times in our relationship that I couldn't imagine loving my husband more than I did in that moment. My heart burst with adoration, passion, and overall joy as I would gaze at him and marvel at the thought that he was a part of me. In those moments, I knew the true beauty of what God intends marriage to be.
If everyday could be that way, I guess I might be tempted to take these blessings for granted. Thankfully, God allows a little bit of human reality to seep into these blissful times, reminding us both that marriage is not just feelings, but work. The work always pays off, but you have to be willing to put in overtime--even when the other is 'slacking'.
My marriage is not 50/50. We strive for 100/100, with both of us committing ourselves to giving our all to each other. Of course we don't always reach that goal, and sometimes the effort looks more like 90/30....or even 25/75, depending on what stresses we are allowing into our lives.
When we do reach that perfect equilibrium, nothing compares to the pure exhilarating happiness that we both feel.
I have grown in my understanding of love in the 11 years we have been married. I now know that I can still love my husband even when I don't like him. You see, liking is a feeling. Loving is an action. I choose not to name-call (or throw things) when he is behaving in a less-than-desirable fashion, and that is loving. I know the regrets of following through on my feelings will be far worse than swallowing my pride in the moment.
I have been more than blessed with plenty of opportunities to test my love for him, and overjoyed with the rewards of choosing to love instead of 'being right'. (Of course there are always those times when being right is just inevitable....as I am always right)
Arnaud has always been able to make me laugh. I hope I never stop laughing at his antics!
These are some small glimpses of why I love my husband so much. And why I am so thankful to God for bringing him into my life.
Loyalty to friends.
He still sings in the rain!
He is not above embarassing himself.
How can you NOT love a face like this? LOL!
If everyday could be that way, I guess I might be tempted to take these blessings for granted. Thankfully, God allows a little bit of human reality to seep into these blissful times, reminding us both that marriage is not just feelings, but work. The work always pays off, but you have to be willing to put in overtime--even when the other is 'slacking'.
My marriage is not 50/50. We strive for 100/100, with both of us committing ourselves to giving our all to each other. Of course we don't always reach that goal, and sometimes the effort looks more like 90/30....or even 25/75, depending on what stresses we are allowing into our lives.
When we do reach that perfect equilibrium, nothing compares to the pure exhilarating happiness that we both feel.
I have grown in my understanding of love in the 11 years we have been married. I now know that I can still love my husband even when I don't like him. You see, liking is a feeling. Loving is an action. I choose not to name-call (or throw things) when he is behaving in a less-than-desirable fashion, and that is loving. I know the regrets of following through on my feelings will be far worse than swallowing my pride in the moment.
I have been more than blessed with plenty of opportunities to test my love for him, and overjoyed with the rewards of choosing to love instead of 'being right'. (Of course there are always those times when being right is just inevitable....as I am always right)
Arnaud has always been able to make me laugh. I hope I never stop laughing at his antics!
These are some small glimpses of why I love my husband so much. And why I am so thankful to God for bringing him into my life.
Loyalty to friends.
He still sings in the rain!
He is not above embarassing himself.
How can you NOT love a face like this? LOL!
God bless!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Good times
For the last 10 days we've been practicing our hospitality for my husband's best friend (for over 20 years) and his 2 year old son. They travelled all the way from France to the middle of nowhere (for them), just to spend their vacation in our little home, with our not-so-little family.
We took them to the popular hotspots of our quaint little city, as well as to some spots we haven't even been to in the 10 years we've lived here as a family!
We shared some laughs, some tears, and some good old-fashioned silliness....mainly at the expense of my husband--who apparently did many embarassing things as a young teenager. That's what good friends are for, right?
The timing of this visit was perfect. My husband has been missing his friends and family back in France....and it felt like France had come to us!
The children were all enjoying using their French again, and learning new phrases to take back to school with them. We were able to teach little Simon a few English words as well--"Cool!" and "I love you, eh"--the most important phrases while visiting Canada.
Here are some photos of our time together. The Lord surely blessed us with good fellowship and a renewed sense of contentment.
We took them to the popular hotspots of our quaint little city, as well as to some spots we haven't even been to in the 10 years we've lived here as a family!
We shared some laughs, some tears, and some good old-fashioned silliness....mainly at the expense of my husband--who apparently did many embarassing things as a young teenager. That's what good friends are for, right?
The timing of this visit was perfect. My husband has been missing his friends and family back in France....and it felt like France had come to us!
The children were all enjoying using their French again, and learning new phrases to take back to school with them. We were able to teach little Simon a few English words as well--"Cool!" and "I love you, eh"--the most important phrases while visiting Canada.
Here are some photos of our time together. The Lord surely blessed us with good fellowship and a renewed sense of contentment.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Jesus feeding the multitudes
Remember the story of Jesus feeding the crowd, even though He only had 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish?
The small amount of food seemed to grow as it was consumed.
The disciples wanted the crowd to turn away from Jesus and find their own food. Jesus took what should have been a crisis, and turned it into an important lesson: Keep your eyes on Jesus, and He will provide. Literally.
I've been reflecting on my need for God's Grace in the recent few weeks. I was desperate at times, feeling that I had depleted His stores for me, and I only had a handful left to try and get through the tough times.
I looked around me at the growing piles of laundry, dishes, and outside stresses and was convinced that I would be swallowed up by life's worries. I tried to ration out the little Grace that was left within me.....but I used it up dealing with the children's bickering.
Uh oh. Now what? I was on the verge of imploding, with a high possibility of collateral damage.
I had two choices: Give into my urge to fall to pieces, or get on my knees. The children were expecting the former, so you can imagine their surprise when Mommy got down on her knees and began to pray.
"Lord, you don't give us more than we can handle with your help. I need that help right now, and I trust that you will provide it. Amen."
Then it happened. A miracle! The Grace (which I had used up) began to grow. Not only did it grow, but it spread to my husband and children....I even had left over Grace to offer to my neighbors!
I can't do it on my own. I have never been able to. The times that I didn't know where my help came from, He carried me without being thanked. Now that I do know where to turn, I praise and thank Him daily. Jesus is my daily bread....and my fish.
The small amount of food seemed to grow as it was consumed.
The disciples wanted the crowd to turn away from Jesus and find their own food. Jesus took what should have been a crisis, and turned it into an important lesson: Keep your eyes on Jesus, and He will provide. Literally.
I've been reflecting on my need for God's Grace in the recent few weeks. I was desperate at times, feeling that I had depleted His stores for me, and I only had a handful left to try and get through the tough times.
I looked around me at the growing piles of laundry, dishes, and outside stresses and was convinced that I would be swallowed up by life's worries. I tried to ration out the little Grace that was left within me.....but I used it up dealing with the children's bickering.
Uh oh. Now what? I was on the verge of imploding, with a high possibility of collateral damage.
I had two choices: Give into my urge to fall to pieces, or get on my knees. The children were expecting the former, so you can imagine their surprise when Mommy got down on her knees and began to pray.
"Lord, you don't give us more than we can handle with your help. I need that help right now, and I trust that you will provide it. Amen."
Then it happened. A miracle! The Grace (which I had used up) began to grow. Not only did it grow, but it spread to my husband and children....I even had left over Grace to offer to my neighbors!
I can't do it on my own. I have never been able to. The times that I didn't know where my help came from, He carried me without being thanked. Now that I do know where to turn, I praise and thank Him daily. Jesus is my daily bread....and my fish.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
It's been more than a week
The playhouse is completely painted, has a roof (a tarp), and my backyard is looking mighty fine...if I do say so myself--which I just did!
I'll post a picture when the sand is in the sandbox.
I wish I had more exciting things to write about today, but we've spent the last week or so sticking around the house, watching Alec and his unusual symptoms that seem to pop up every hour or so. (okay, a little over dramatic, but it's my blog!)
On Thursday he had a blood draw at the hospital. The Endocrine doctors were checking him for Addison's disease and making sure his blood counts were good. The results indicate that he does not have Addison's disease (Thank the Lord!), but his Thyroid levels were still too high for comfort. The hope is that his anti-thyroid drugs will continue to work in the days to come.
In the meantime, his file and information was sent to our pediatrician so that he could further investigate the symptoms that don't seem to fit with his Thyroid problems (dizziness, nausea, weight loss, headaches). After a brief (10 min) physical exam, it was determined that Alec has Postural Hypotension....which are big words that mean that his blood pressure drops significantly from laying down to standing....which explains his dizziness---or at least it should. Not a cause for concern.
What it does not explain is why he gets hit with dizziness after standing for prolonged periods of time. Nor does it solve the weight loss or nausea. Our pediatrician blames them all on his Thyroid and Diabetes....which the specialists have stated is not the case.
I have also noticed a pattern to his symptoms. They begin to increase in frequency and severity from about 4:00 pm on. The worst symptoms have all happened right around 9:00 pm. I have no clue if this means anything, but it seems odd that it follows this pattern to a 'T' every day for the past 6 days (possibly longer, I just didn't record before then).
As you can tell, my thoughts have been consumed with finding answers to help Alec. His irritability and unwell feelings have made outings difficult....almost like toting around a 2 year old again, only bigger.
I pray that an answer is soon to be found, and we can enjoy the summer with no worries hanging over our heads.
Next week my husband's friend from France is coming to stay with us for 10 days. I'm looking forward to using my French again....just to see the confusion on a 'true' French face.
Can you guess what this is a picture of? (no cheating for those of you who know from facebook!)
I'll post a picture when the sand is in the sandbox.
I wish I had more exciting things to write about today, but we've spent the last week or so sticking around the house, watching Alec and his unusual symptoms that seem to pop up every hour or so. (okay, a little over dramatic, but it's my blog!)
On Thursday he had a blood draw at the hospital. The Endocrine doctors were checking him for Addison's disease and making sure his blood counts were good. The results indicate that he does not have Addison's disease (Thank the Lord!), but his Thyroid levels were still too high for comfort. The hope is that his anti-thyroid drugs will continue to work in the days to come.
In the meantime, his file and information was sent to our pediatrician so that he could further investigate the symptoms that don't seem to fit with his Thyroid problems (dizziness, nausea, weight loss, headaches). After a brief (10 min) physical exam, it was determined that Alec has Postural Hypotension....which are big words that mean that his blood pressure drops significantly from laying down to standing....which explains his dizziness---or at least it should. Not a cause for concern.
What it does not explain is why he gets hit with dizziness after standing for prolonged periods of time. Nor does it solve the weight loss or nausea. Our pediatrician blames them all on his Thyroid and Diabetes....which the specialists have stated is not the case.
I have also noticed a pattern to his symptoms. They begin to increase in frequency and severity from about 4:00 pm on. The worst symptoms have all happened right around 9:00 pm. I have no clue if this means anything, but it seems odd that it follows this pattern to a 'T' every day for the past 6 days (possibly longer, I just didn't record before then).
As you can tell, my thoughts have been consumed with finding answers to help Alec. His irritability and unwell feelings have made outings difficult....almost like toting around a 2 year old again, only bigger.
I pray that an answer is soon to be found, and we can enjoy the summer with no worries hanging over our heads.
Next week my husband's friend from France is coming to stay with us for 10 days. I'm looking forward to using my French again....just to see the confusion on a 'true' French face.
Can you guess what this is a picture of? (no cheating for those of you who know from facebook!)
Friday, July 17, 2009
Is there anything more perfect than a smile?
I gave up striving for perfection years ago, but there remains a small annoying part of me that still thinks I can attain it.
Placing furniture just right.
Making sure the painting on the wall is not slanted....even a millimeter off would not be right.
Licking my finger and wiping off the last smear of chocolate from the corner of my daughter's mouth.
Do any of these actions serve a purpose beyond 'fitting the mold'? Nope.
In my angst to keep the upstairs tidy and the laundry up to date, I neglected the more important needs....my kids' enjoyment of their summer holidays. As I looked around at my organized home, there was something missing. A sparkle...but not because anymore cleaning was necessary...no, the sparkle was missing from my children's eyes.
*sigh*
How could I make it up to them? I know I can't get back the minutes I wasted stressing over the dust bunnies...but what could I plan to get the excitement back into our home?
Ahh...the old, unpainted playhouse in the backyard. I had been meaning to get it painted for years now, but it had never made it to my priority list.
I had big plans to find a colour that would blend into the garden or even match the house. You know, make it look perfect.
As I listed off the colours the kids could choose from, I noticed the shoulders begin to slump and the initial excitement of being involved with the painting seemed to fade.
Ouch. I was doing it again.
I threw out the list of colours. I carted all four of them to Home Depot and said, "Have at it...find a colour you want."
Amazingly enough, they all agreed on a single colour.....Neon Green.
I can't say I'm excited about the colour. It most likely will stand out like a sore thumb in the neighborhood....but the bright smiles on each of my kids' faces convinced me it was the perfect colour.
Pictures will follow in the days to come.
Placing furniture just right.
Making sure the painting on the wall is not slanted....even a millimeter off would not be right.
Licking my finger and wiping off the last smear of chocolate from the corner of my daughter's mouth.
Do any of these actions serve a purpose beyond 'fitting the mold'? Nope.
In my angst to keep the upstairs tidy and the laundry up to date, I neglected the more important needs....my kids' enjoyment of their summer holidays. As I looked around at my organized home, there was something missing. A sparkle...but not because anymore cleaning was necessary...no, the sparkle was missing from my children's eyes.
*sigh*
How could I make it up to them? I know I can't get back the minutes I wasted stressing over the dust bunnies...but what could I plan to get the excitement back into our home?
Ahh...the old, unpainted playhouse in the backyard. I had been meaning to get it painted for years now, but it had never made it to my priority list.
I had big plans to find a colour that would blend into the garden or even match the house. You know, make it look perfect.
As I listed off the colours the kids could choose from, I noticed the shoulders begin to slump and the initial excitement of being involved with the painting seemed to fade.
Ouch. I was doing it again.
I threw out the list of colours. I carted all four of them to Home Depot and said, "Have at it...find a colour you want."
Amazingly enough, they all agreed on a single colour.....Neon Green.
I can't say I'm excited about the colour. It most likely will stand out like a sore thumb in the neighborhood....but the bright smiles on each of my kids' faces convinced me it was the perfect colour.
Pictures will follow in the days to come.
I told you it was bright....I can't wait to fill the sand box up when it's all done. First layer is finished. Tomorrow we'll put on the second layer (if it doesn't rain), then fill the box with sand on the weekend!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Audience size
Do you find that people's message (or how they present themselves) changes as their audience grows? Like somehow they have to cater to a wider range of opinions, so they end up sacrificing a part of who they are in order to please the crowds?
Take, for instance, Oprah. (please bear with me) I remember watching her when I was really young, and thinking, 'Wow, she really cares about these people she is interviewing!'
Through the years, as she became more popular (and richer!), I noticed a more aggressive and self-absorbed 'celebrity' coming out. Her message was no longer as clear....and sadly (or not), I stopped watching her show. She wasn't herself anymore....or at least not the Oprah I had enjoyed years before.
Similarly, Dr. Phil used to wear his heart on his sleeve when he was a frequent guest of Oprah's. With his new show and expanded following, maybe it became too much to connect on a personal level with every single guest looking for answers.
His interactions with people in pain has become more of a bully approach, as opposed to a friend coming alongside to help guide them.
And look what happened (or is happening) to President Obama. All that energy during his campaign, meant to endear him to millions, has given way to the exhausting reality that you cannot please everyone all the time.
This leads me to my thoughts today about this whole 'blogging' world that I apparently belong to now. The same feelings I had when I started writing (naive to writing, no computer skills, not much of a story to tell, etc) came to the surface, and I began questioning who exactly am I 'talking' to--or directing my thoughts to--on my blog?
What is my purpose for writing?
If there's one thing I remember from High school English (and I don't remember much) it's that you should know your audience before you put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard in this case).
Do I really need a purpose to blog? I guess not. I just do it. *Thank you Nike for that phrase*
Wow. I'm random today, aren't I? (redundant question, no need to answer....please)
So, in keeping with my randomness, I'll post some unrelated photos too. :)
Take, for instance, Oprah. (please bear with me) I remember watching her when I was really young, and thinking, 'Wow, she really cares about these people she is interviewing!'
Through the years, as she became more popular (and richer!), I noticed a more aggressive and self-absorbed 'celebrity' coming out. Her message was no longer as clear....and sadly (or not), I stopped watching her show. She wasn't herself anymore....or at least not the Oprah I had enjoyed years before.
Similarly, Dr. Phil used to wear his heart on his sleeve when he was a frequent guest of Oprah's. With his new show and expanded following, maybe it became too much to connect on a personal level with every single guest looking for answers.
His interactions with people in pain has become more of a bully approach, as opposed to a friend coming alongside to help guide them.
And look what happened (or is happening) to President Obama. All that energy during his campaign, meant to endear him to millions, has given way to the exhausting reality that you cannot please everyone all the time.
This leads me to my thoughts today about this whole 'blogging' world that I apparently belong to now. The same feelings I had when I started writing (naive to writing, no computer skills, not much of a story to tell, etc) came to the surface, and I began questioning who exactly am I 'talking' to--or directing my thoughts to--on my blog?
What is my purpose for writing?
If there's one thing I remember from High school English (and I don't remember much) it's that you should know your audience before you put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard in this case).
Do I really need a purpose to blog? I guess not. I just do it. *Thank you Nike for that phrase*
Wow. I'm random today, aren't I? (redundant question, no need to answer....please)
So, in keeping with my randomness, I'll post some unrelated photos too. :)
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