I must apologize

To the unsuspecting stranger who unwittingly posed for this picture in the background.

A superficial post

Fashion sense...do you have it?

Some days I'm convinced that I have so many skills in this area, and I hold my head high as I walk out my door in my colourful ensemble.....only to pass by a shop window and realize that not ALL oranges go with ALL blues.

I am much more comfortable in my black tees with my blue jeans. I know FOR SURE I won't stand out (good or bad), and I can just focus on being a nice person without the added pressure of being stylish too. I'd rather someone know my occupation (Frumpy MOM) by how I dress, than wonder if I do clowning on the side.

Case in point: I decided to experiment with scarves. I see them everywhere on women, even in the summer! I picked up some safe colours (greys, black and white, one with pink in it!) to start.

My first outing with a scarf included a beige jean jacket-type thing over a white t-shirt, with a grey/white scarf. A nice pair of dark blue jeans finished off the look, and I exited my room feeling quite proud of my efforts.

The great thing about having young children is that they are always honest...even when you don't ask for it.

As I grabbed my purse to head off to the meeting (that I had dressed up for), Alec asked (quite innocently), "Mom, why are your dressed like an explorer?"

Most would feel defeated at this point. Not I. Why? Because at least he wasn't laughing this time.

My oldest daughter, Annlise (8), definitely has more style than myself. It comes naturally for her, and I'm glad...because I couldn't teach it to a chimp, even if I had a magazine to help me. There have been days that I helped her be creative. She would smile, eat her breakfast, then promptly go change when I was looking the other way.

She didn't want to hurt my feelings. What a sweetheart. What she doesn't realize is that I've already accepted my shortcomings in this area, and feelings cannot be hurt when the concept of fashion seems to be a joke to me. A cruel joke.

I like to tell myself that fashion is like art. It's all subjective and up to each individual to interpret. What all that really means is that everyone dresses really funny, and awkward, and foolish....to at least one person that sees us each day.

So, I'd rather be comfortable (and un-stylish) when people see me, so that maybe they'll look past the clothes to see the contentment.

I love looking at other women's style...and wonder if sometimes they feel just like me.

God has such a big job to do

Do you ever feel like you would like to save the world?

I have moments when bright ideas pop into my head, and I think to myself, "If I did this, the world would be such a grand place to live!"

That's when the details of actually accomplishing these far-fetched goals bog me down, and the reality of just how many obstacles are in the way prevent me from even starting.

I had a revelation the other day, and I'm sure it was from the Holy Spirit, that I'm not God.

Seriously. That's what popped into my mind. I'm not God.

Duh, right? Well, when further contemplating this revelation, I came to the conclusion that I don't have to see everything through to the end. If I use the talents that God gives me to begin a good work, and the goal is a God-centered one, then He will see it through to the end.

Those obstacles? Way too big for me...but not even close to stopping God. I don't need to have solutions right now for what has yet to happen. I need to trust that God will provide the answers to the impossible.

I'm glad I'm not God. He has SUCH a big job to do!

Stress

I'm not stressed. Right now.

I have experienced a lot of stress this year. It has caused me to reflect on the important things in life. I have learned that stress can be felt in different doses, and it can cause the most sane person to behave irrationally at times.

It is not benign.

Stress doesn't usually bring about positive feelings. I think it most closely resembles anger. Sadly, when let loose, it tends to have a domino effect on our loved ones.

How often do you admit to one another that you are stressed? How quickly are you able to pinpoint that you are not in fact angry, but rather you are stressed?

I've been learning through these past few months that when I used the proper term for my feelings ("I'm feeling really stressed with the work I have to get done") as opposed to anger ("Don't you see I am working and have deadlines??!!?!), I tend to get along better with those I care about most.

It doesn't necessarily take away my stressed feelings, but it does prevent further stress by preventing the domino effect.

I have always said that there are reasons for every season of our lives, and for every circumstance there is a lesson to be learned. I sense that experiencing this stress now, and learning coping mechanisms, is to better prepare me for the teenage years to come.

I pray for all who are experiencing stress right now, that they may know Peace in their hearts...in the midst of the chaos.

Did you think I would forget?

I was just in denial that it's been 3 years.

Really? I guess it's true. You must be sassy (but the adorable kind of sassy) and have an opinion on everything. I'm sure Jesus loves to hear your thoughts about how the world turns (around you!).

I hope you felt the love from your family and friends up in Heaven on this, your special day.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Savannah. You are never far from my heart.

Bullies

I really don't know where this post will lead. I suspect I will end up just rambling some unconnected thoughts, seeking an outlet for the many tidbits that lay stacked up inside my head.

Any feedback is welcome....even if written in Chinese! :)

Some days I'm sick of the constant exposure to media stories on bullying and bullies.

Yes, they exist. Yes, it's unfortunate to be the victim of bullying. Yes, it can cause life-long issues that one will have to deal with...and there are some who never quite heal.

Today I'm not sick of the topic. In fact, I want to share my own thoughts....and I may stick to this topic for quite a few posts, just to get it off my chest.

I think some exposure to being picked on is a good thing; it can test our abilities to cope through rough times. Surviving the ridicule and humiliation can either strengthen us or cause us to close the world out. The difference, I believe, is in how the adults in a child's life react to each given situation.

If a capable adult is quick to act, and fair in their judgement, both the bully and the victim can learn from the pain. If the adult(s) ignore or minimize the issues, I dare say they are just as guilty as the bully.

As we enter into adulthood, there is an expectation that bullying ceases to exist. Almost as if the very idea of bullying is a childish one...belonging to adolescents. Sadly, some bullies do not change because they have never been confronted to change.

In our day and age, we attempt to avoid doling out consequences for poor behaviours. We help the oppressors justify their actions, as opposed to learn from their mistakes. Teachers are taught to not take sides.

My father (a doctor) has an old newspaper clipping of a quote that summarizes exactly my thoughts:

TAKE SIDES!
Neutrality only helps the oppressor, never the oppressed.

I challenge all you blog readers to take a stand against wrong doing. Protect the defenseless, come alongside those who hurt others because they hurt inside, and give power back to the ones stripped of self-worth by others' harmful actions.

More to come.....

My first February post

Do any of you say the word 'Feb-RU-ary' while typing it...just so you don't forget the first 'r'? I can still hear my second grade teacher's voice in my head whenever I am writing the month's full name.







But this post is not about spelling, it's about February. And what a great month it is! My youngest daughter, Kalyna, turned four on the 6th of this month, and I will be turning NOT 6 on the 21st!




We had some family and friends over to celebrate both my girl's birthdays (Annlise turned 8 on Jan. 22) early on this month, so I'm all partied-out. Well, not all partied-out, but mostly.





God has been doing some amazing things in our lives, more specifically, in Alec's life. I hope to one day be able to reflect back on these past few months and share just how God's love has transformed us all through an unexpected ordeal.



Here are some pictures of the Birthday girls!