Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Living under scrutiny

It's not a very good feeling to know that your every move is being watched, especially when you want others to view you as a good person, but you know they are just waiting for a mistake to prove you are not.

Instead of going about 'as usual', you begin to try and orchestrate how you will say things, or which clothes will best portray the person you want to be....your reactions to the kids will change in front of others, as you second guess yourself as a parent.

You can pull it off for a long time, but the effort catches up to you. The fatigue sets in, and the constant justification of your actions and words eat up all the confidence you have left.

The gig is up. "YOU" have been outed. And it's not the 'you' that you want to be.

It's lonely when you get to that point.

That's when God meets you, holds out His hand, and lets you know that He still loves you, even if the world forsakes you.

God offers new breath....and hope for the future He has planned for you.