Friday, May 29, 2009

Not so chipper today

Today was Alec's diabetic check-up (he goes once every 3 months), and the results were not good.

His A1C's (the average level of sugar in his blood over a period of 3 months) were sky-high, yet his records show that we had some good management at home and at school. Coupled with some persistent symptoms, the doctors and I agree that his Thyroid is acting up again.

He has not been well. It's time for us to treat his Hyperthyroidism with radio-active iodine....killing the gland so that it can no longer negatively affect his diabetic care. This is the logical next step for him, and he'll feel a whole bunch better once he's done.

My mind understands this, but my heart is breaking in two. This treatment will completely kill off a part of his body. He will depend on a pill (as well as insulin) for the rest of his life....just to function normally.

I cannot ask God the question, "why Alec?"

....I know that His answer is, "Because I see around the corner of this trial, and you all will come out stronger."

God knew this was coming, and He knows the rest of Alec's story. Please pray that I will find Peace and rest in it during this storm.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I don't like hard work

And preparing walls for painting is HARD work to me.

The plan was to find someone (cheap) to do the painting for us. Our living/dining room walls are in need of a new coat of colour after 30 years of plain ole (barely) beige. We have lived in this house for nearly 10 years, and it's taken us this long to commit to a bold colour combo for these rooms.

I was in the midst of organizing to get estimates from various painters when my husband blurts out, "I really miss painting with you Sarah. We had such good times when we did the other rooms....and I felt closer to you when we did a project like that."

How do you NOT paint yourself after that kind of remark? So. Here we are at the project start date. And I'm not looking forward to the hard work.

I have chosen a 'Brickage' red colour for two of the walls in the dining area, and a 'Toffee crisp' colour for the three larger walls that connect into the living room area. I really do love the colours that I have chosen, and so does my husband--by default (he stated that he didn't care what colours were picked, he just wanted to get started).

After taking down all the framed photos and buying all the tape, Arnaud (my husband) decided that before painting he'd need to mud the holes left behind. Not only does he need to mud the holes, he also needs to sand those mudded holes after letting them dry for a couple days.

Somehow I think he must have been remembering a painting project with someone else when he spoke earlier....someone a lot more patient than me. The longer this prep time takes, the more I wish I had hired a professional who would have been finished by now! Why couldn't I have just suggested that we paint canvas' together? Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

As I type, he's upstairs sanding away. I love that man!

When all is said and done, I know we'll be happy with the end result. I'll be sure to post pictures when it's done.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Biting off more than you can chew

There is a desire in all of us to do something great. Something BIG. Something AMAZING.

I certainly carry this desire within me. It's so hard, though, to spend time in the baby steps leading up to great responsibility. Most of the little things don't seem like much until you get to the next stage....and that's when you realize that you could not have handled the present issues without the skills attained from your previous challenge.

Sometimes the activities and lessons we learn don't seem to connect with the journey until years down the line. We don't see the BIG picture, but God sees the whole canvas before us.

In my rush to reach the end result, I sometimes bite off more than I can chew....thinking it will get me there faster (where ever 'there' may be). I end up choking on my responsibilities because I take on the 'control' factor, instead of focusing on the Holy Spirit's leading.

I went on a Vestry retreat this weekend. We are facing huge challenges in our denomination, and each problem can be traced back to the point that our higher leadership took their eyes off God, and cared more about what society valued. The Church that I attend has remained in God's Word and that puts us on the 'outside' of the wider community of our denomination.

I have recognized that my words have not been followed by actions....and hopefully that is going to change now. I have joined my Church's Mission Ministry. I think I have been avoiding this area because of irrational fears.

You see, we have a lunch program in our Church that runs daily for the less fortunate of our city. There are a group of women who come in and make sandwiches and soup everyday and hand them out to the inner city people.

I've known about this program since I began attending this parish, but I've always had an excuse not to volunteer. No more.

God revealed to me that the people who come each day to receive food don't need me. I need them. I need to reach out and see Christ in the very people that most of us avoid. There has been this opportunity for me to grow, and I have been resisting this particular path.

Not only am I going to put my time where my words have been, but I am going to reach out to others in our community. I want others to have the same opportunity to give back. I will approach the big businesses and ask for their employees to join us on their lunch break.

I may have bitten off more than I can chew...but God has big teeth. ;)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Stolen Joy

Are you like me? When things in life are going well and you are so happy your heart nearly bursts, do you have a tinge of fear about something awful happening?

For years I just brushed off the feeling as 'guilt' for having it so good at the time, or maybe a lack of trust that the smooth ride would continue for any length time.

I now realize that someone was stealing my joy. And I was allowing it to happen.

When God blesses us, He wants us to rest in His Peace and rejoice in contentment. Whether we worry or not about what tomorrow will bring, tomorrow and its season still comes. The only difference is that we've wasted the precious calm time to replenish our spirit, and are not as capable of handling the next opportunity that comes our way.

Next time a feeling such as this passes over you, recognize that your joy is being stolen. Don't willingly give it up. Own it, and be thankful for it.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Is it not amazing?

I was overcome with such wonder and amazement today as I (once again) reflected on the Sovereign power of God.

The internet is a vast, largely untapped, cyber-world of relationships and sharing of thoughts. A tool for people to connect from every corner of the Earth. We have slowly been working our way towards mechanisms and vessels that allow our thoughts and cultures to reach the far ends of this planet we live on.

We began on foot. Travelling for days, weeks...months and years to reach other cultures. We incorporated animals to relieve our burdens and give rest to our aching feet.

Using innovative tools, we then carved out 'riding machines' and used the seemingly unlimited energy from large animals to move around. This allowed for quicker travel and more exploration. Boats were also an efficient means to reach out to others and form symbiotic relations and trade agreements.

Bring in the motor vehicle and our world became even more accessible. Telephones, planes, space ships.....all these wondrous machines that would physically take us to new places, or verbally connect us with new worlds.

Amazing to reflect on all these tools.

That's when I began to question, "For what purpose?"

There are the practical reasons: expand trade, seeking more food, the need for more land as the population grew.....and the human reasons: curiosity and adventure!

And at the very basic level, communication. A desire to share the lessons and love that had been shown in each of our lives with others who may or may not have similar stories. Exchanging new innovative ideas to make living easier.

To reach out to the hurting and show them the way to comfort.

I have been encouraged and surprised when I come across fellow Christians living worlds away who have the same understanding and passions as myself....all of it serves to build on the gift of Faith I've been given. We worship and serve the same God!

God causes all things to come together for Good. Including the internet. I know that I have experienced His love through others, and I do my best to give back. Both face to face and through a computer screen.

We are inching closer and closer to the point where every single person will have heard of God's love for the world.....regardless if they accept it or not. Now that is amazing.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Speaking of trials and lessons...

Here's the background story in Annlise's own words:
"Okay, so I was playing on the playground at the end of Gym class (we had outdoor gym today), and a boy was daring me to jump from a high place on the play structure.
Mom. You can't say no to a dare from a BOY! So, I jumped down and I was fine. He said that I probably couldn't do it again, and I told him I could.
I climbed up and jumped again....but this time it hurt bad. I even cried!!!"

That's my girl! You show that boy how smart and tough you are.....two hairline fractures to your heel bone later, I'm sure that's what he's thinking. LOL

3 weeks with no weight-bearing allowed. This is going to be F.U.N!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Times, they are a'changin

Have you ever noticed that when you can easily spot problems in others, it's because you are avoiding some of your own?

That verse in the Bible that talks about taking the plank out of your own eye before removing the sliver from your brother's kind of hit home for me tonight. And I have absolutely NO clue why.

I don't think I've been overly 'meddling' in anyone's life (of course I should probably ask those close to me to get a reality check), and I really don't feel I'm obsessing about another's problems...but I have a nagging feeling that maybe I'm too focused on pointing out the blemishes of my neighbours, when it is me that harbours the troubles.

The truth is I know I'm about due for another one of God's 'pruning' sessions. I fully know the Joys of coming out the other side of His handiwork....but the journey to get through the muck is not one I look forward to.

I want the Lord to continue to mold me and shape me to reflect His love more accurately, I really do! However, growth is always accompanied by growing pains.

Maturing in Christ is not easily treated with Tylenol or ice packs....for the pain a servant endures must reach the heart in order to be most effective. I wish I wasn't so hesitant to go through the trials--that my Faith was so strong that I could confidently look these tests face-on without flinching.

But that's not me. I tremble inside as I contemplate the circumstances that will inevitably come my way. Ones that have the potential to cut away the cinicism and negativity in my life. Will I accept the challenges? Will I cower away and miss an opportunity to know Jesus more deeply?

For now I will enjoy the peaceful rest that God has provided....and refuel with the Spirit for the plans He has ahead.....for we all know that worry doesn't add a single day to my life.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Reverse Psychology

It seems that Kalyna is the only one who will pose for pictures these days. Here's a nice helping of 'hamming it up' for Mommy!
"Kalyna, show Mommy a pretty face"
"How about a nice smile?"
(I just missed the tongue sticking out with this shot)

"Okay, if you are going to do the opposite of everything I ask, go nuts!!!"
(why didn't I think of that command sooner?!? lol)

God Bless!