Stress

I'm not stressed. Right now.

I have experienced a lot of stress this year. It has caused me to reflect on the important things in life. I have learned that stress can be felt in different doses, and it can cause the most sane person to behave irrationally at times.

It is not benign.

Stress doesn't usually bring about positive feelings. I think it most closely resembles anger. Sadly, when let loose, it tends to have a domino effect on our loved ones.

How often do you admit to one another that you are stressed? How quickly are you able to pinpoint that you are not in fact angry, but rather you are stressed?

I've been learning through these past few months that when I used the proper term for my feelings ("I'm feeling really stressed with the work I have to get done") as opposed to anger ("Don't you see I am working and have deadlines??!!?!), I tend to get along better with those I care about most.

It doesn't necessarily take away my stressed feelings, but it does prevent further stress by preventing the domino effect.

I have always said that there are reasons for every season of our lives, and for every circumstance there is a lesson to be learned. I sense that experiencing this stress now, and learning coping mechanisms, is to better prepare me for the teenage years to come.

I pray for all who are experiencing stress right now, that they may know Peace in their hearts...in the midst of the chaos.

Did you think I would forget?

I was just in denial that it's been 3 years.

Really? I guess it's true. You must be sassy (but the adorable kind of sassy) and have an opinion on everything. I'm sure Jesus loves to hear your thoughts about how the world turns (around you!).

I hope you felt the love from your family and friends up in Heaven on this, your special day.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Savannah. You are never far from my heart.

Bullies

I really don't know where this post will lead. I suspect I will end up just rambling some unconnected thoughts, seeking an outlet for the many tidbits that lay stacked up inside my head.

Any feedback is welcome....even if written in Chinese! :)

Some days I'm sick of the constant exposure to media stories on bullying and bullies.

Yes, they exist. Yes, it's unfortunate to be the victim of bullying. Yes, it can cause life-long issues that one will have to deal with...and there are some who never quite heal.

Today I'm not sick of the topic. In fact, I want to share my own thoughts....and I may stick to this topic for quite a few posts, just to get it off my chest.

I think some exposure to being picked on is a good thing; it can test our abilities to cope through rough times. Surviving the ridicule and humiliation can either strengthen us or cause us to close the world out. The difference, I believe, is in how the adults in a child's life react to each given situation.

If a capable adult is quick to act, and fair in their judgement, both the bully and the victim can learn from the pain. If the adult(s) ignore or minimize the issues, I dare say they are just as guilty as the bully.

As we enter into adulthood, there is an expectation that bullying ceases to exist. Almost as if the very idea of bullying is a childish one...belonging to adolescents. Sadly, some bullies do not change because they have never been confronted to change.

In our day and age, we attempt to avoid doling out consequences for poor behaviours. We help the oppressors justify their actions, as opposed to learn from their mistakes. Teachers are taught to not take sides.

My father (a doctor) has an old newspaper clipping of a quote that summarizes exactly my thoughts:

TAKE SIDES!
Neutrality only helps the oppressor, never the oppressed.

I challenge all you blog readers to take a stand against wrong doing. Protect the defenseless, come alongside those who hurt others because they hurt inside, and give power back to the ones stripped of self-worth by others' harmful actions.

More to come.....

My first February post

Do any of you say the word 'Feb-RU-ary' while typing it...just so you don't forget the first 'r'? I can still hear my second grade teacher's voice in my head whenever I am writing the month's full name.







But this post is not about spelling, it's about February. And what a great month it is! My youngest daughter, Kalyna, turned four on the 6th of this month, and I will be turning NOT 6 on the 21st!




We had some family and friends over to celebrate both my girl's birthdays (Annlise turned 8 on Jan. 22) early on this month, so I'm all partied-out. Well, not all partied-out, but mostly.





God has been doing some amazing things in our lives, more specifically, in Alec's life. I hope to one day be able to reflect back on these past few months and share just how God's love has transformed us all through an unexpected ordeal.



Here are some pictures of the Birthday girls!

Puppy love

Literally.

God works in mysterious ways. I have been adamant for the last 10 years that my home will not be occupied by any large animals. I guess God figured I was being a bit too stubborn...and I realize that He was right--again.

Kipper ('Kip' for short) was adopted on January 25 from our local Humane Society. She has already found a lasting place in all of our hearts...and I am grateful for the way she is helping Alec to heal from some of his hurts.

God could not have picked a better behaved puppy for us to love on! She came to us almost fully house-trained, and has the most gentle demeanor I've ever seen in a dog!

At 3.5 months old, she is already nearing 25 pounds....I have a feeling she is not going to be a lap dog when full-grown.

Moving along...

Yikes!

The thing about not writing on my blog very often is that it may give off the impression that I remain feeling as conflicted as my last post indicated.

Which is not the case.

Well, at least I'm not feeling like that all the time....just when the feelings well up inside.

Which they tend to do while I work out my emotions.

And they are working themselves out. In their own time.

Meanwhile, I have an almost-eight-year-old daughter and an almost-four-year-old daughter who are completely and totally addicted to card games. I don't say that lightly. They literally go through withdrawal if they cannot find someone to play 'Go Fish' with them when the mood strikes.

And the mood strikes often.

I made absolutely no New Year's resolutions.....which means that I've already accomplished what I set out to do for 2010: live each day, one moment at a time. Pretty good, huh?

God is always right

I've been struggling with some very real emotions recently. Emotions that make me want to say hurtful things.

In the world's eyes, I'm justified. In fact, in my eyes, I'm justified in carrying out what my emotions want me to do.

However, in God's eyes, I am not excused if I carry out these actions in anger.

As much as I pray that the Lord lifts my hurt and anger, a huge part of me wants to hang onto it. I don't want to forgive this person. I want this person to hurt inside. I want this person to pay for what they have done. I want revenge.

What I have been learning (albeit slowly) is that having God in my life does not make decisions easier...in fact, I'd say that His guidance makes the choices so much more difficult! Yes, that's right. I said it. It's hard having God in my life right now.

Why? Because I cannot deny the Truth of His counsel. I want to react with my human instincts. Before I knew God, I would do just that. I didn't really care if I hurt people along the way....because I felt justified in doing so.

Now that I do know God through Jesus, I am privy to know the 'right thing' to do....and it's so hard to choose the right thing when every part of my being wants to do the wrong thing.

My human urge wants to deny knowing what is right. I have been close to giving in to these hurts...and every time I get near acting them out, I see the cross before me. I have a choice to add another nail or put the hammer down.

I am stuck holding the hammer right now. In tears. I think I know what I will do, but I have not made that decision yet.

God is always right.